tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10346803955611223842024-03-12T17:58:29.818-05:00Insert Clever Title Here
carrievarnell@gmail.comCarriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-9762663484553134412012-02-03T08:32:00.003-06:002012-02-03T08:44:53.356-06:00Zippers and EgosIt's a rite of passage that all children must go through, the "embarrassing parent" moments. You know, the comments meant to expose you and embarrass you in front of God and everyone, such as “I’ll miss you!” or “Mommy loves you!” and the ever popular “Make good choices!” I lived through it and now laugh about it and sometimes it winds up in a skit…or a blog post.<br /><br />But as my sweet, southern mother would say after I whined about my Dad sending my boyfriend a tape of me singing, "God is building character in your life". And I fell for it.<br /><br />Well, now it's my turn. The torch has been passed. The student becomes the master. But in order to fly the flag of Embarrassing Parent one must acquire a child who will succumb to the humiliation of being in such a family. A child who will cower in fear and submit to a higher power that has the ability to take you out of this world and make another one just like you.<br /><br />We have two children in which to inflict such pain and humiliation upon. But only one can be swayed by threats of hugging in front of his friends or blowing kisses while he's on the soccer field.<br /><br />No...the other, the older, the wiser, the unaffected...will not be moved. In fact, she welcomes it. "Bring it on!" is her motto. "Do your worst!" She is unafraid. She will gladly wave and blow kisses to "mommy" and respond with "you're the coolest" to my "make good choices" battle cry when dropping her off at school. She proudly exits the car at school when my hair is unkempt and I’m still in the t-shirt I wore to bed. Don’t dare her to do stuff. She will wind up in jail. She is a rock. Non-embarrassable. Non-self-conscious.<br /><br />Until today.<br /><br />After dropping off my beautiful, talented, well-liked daughter at school I noticed something a little off about the jeans she was wearing. Now, Rachel has had a problem with this since...well...birth. For Graham, it's keeping his shoes tied. For Rachel, it's been this particular oversight that she's never been mindful of or cared about until someone pointed it out, and with a shrug of her shoulders and an "oh thanks" she would fix the problem and carry on with her life. No big deal.<br /><br />I have searched far and wide for the chink in Rachel's armor. Her Achilles heel. And today I found it. And now that she's in middle school this particular thing holds new meaning, unbeknownst to me. So with love in my heart and nothing but the best of intentions, as Rachel waved goodbye and we exchanged "I love you's", I rolled the window down and declared:<br /><br />"Honey, zip your pants!"<br /><br />The next few seconds happened in slow motion. The freezing in mid-stride. The slowly turning around in utter mortification. The eyes as wide as saucers. I had done it. I had finally embarrassed my daughter<br /><br />She took it all in stride and with good humor. I honestly didn’t mean to embarrass her. It was just a bonus to my Friday. She checked her zipper to make sure that they were, in fact, zipped and gave me a “Mooommm!!”<br /><br />As parents, we don’t mean our children harm. But somewhere in the parent manual it says that you’re supposed to remind your children of their place in the world. It’s the same reason I read her emails and text messages. I want to know who she’s talking to and about what. She understands that she’s not entitled. There are things we must endure in life, and well-intentioned but oftentimes ego-busting parents are one of them.<br /><br />I know that for myself, God laughs and says to the saints and angels around him “Hey, you wanna see something funny?” and then proceeds to put me in my place. Whether it be tripping while walking down the sidewalk, waving at a stranger I thought I knew, or asking that lady in Wal-Mart when she’s due…you get the rest of that story. It’s the natural order of things. It happens to all of us and will continue to happen for the rest of our lives. It’s just that the older you get, the less you care.<br /><br />But I have to laugh, because it reminds me that I am not perfect. There will always be things out of my control. I am human and God is God. And that is such a good thing.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Originally posted May 2010.</span>Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-20144717388555176772012-01-19T08:35:00.009-06:002012-01-19T23:03:40.505-06:00In Response to "Don't Carpe Diem"I hate conflict. Hate it. I don't like it all. I feel uncomfortable contradicting someone. Especially when everyone is so excited about what that person is saying.<br /><br />Which is why I really hate posting this blog, but I feel as if I need to do so. But just a side note, this seriously puts my stomach in knots and makes my hands shake, but here goes. <br /><br />There has been a blog post circulating called "Don't Carpe Diem". The first time I read it, I got the warm fuzzies that are intended for the reader. But I also got some ringing bells, a few sirens, and a whole bunch of red flags. <br /><br />As Christian women we have got to be careful about what we accept as good advice. Let's just break down the Don't Carpe Diem post.<br /> <br />The blogger writes about older women ("little old ladies") telling her to "carpe diem": <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">"I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me."</span><br /><br />First off, if you KNOW that something is right and good, as Christians, shouldn't it work for you? To say that you know what to do that is right and good but that you "can't" is to say God can't work in you. <br /><br />"Being confident of this, He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." Philippians 1:5<br /><br />"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come! The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17<br /><br />Second, the blogger says, <span style="font-style:italic;">”I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing."</span><br /><br />But the Bible says,<br /><br />"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." Ephesians 5:16<br /><br />The blogger goes on to say that she is not able to enjoy every moment and that she simply cannot carpe diem. <br /><br />"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. <span style="font-weight:bold;">And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.</span>" Philippians 4:4-7<br /><br />"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." <br />James 1:2-3<br /><br />"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18<br /><br />"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12 Or as the NIV Reader's Version says, "Teach us to realize how short our lives are."<br /><br />Yes, I know the main point of the blog is that we can't always be shiny, happy people when our kids are screaming and pooping and throwing things. And I know that it gets overwhelming and frustrating when we get told "what to do" by the women who have boldly gone before us. <br /><br />Which, by the way,<br /><br />"Then they (older women) can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." Titus 2:4-5<br /><br />Want to rock that Titus Woman's world that feels compelled to give you advice in Target and tells you to enjoy it because it goes by so fast? Ask her how she did it. Tell her you're having a hard time and would love to know specifically what she did to enjoy every single moment. Not in a sarcastic condescending way, but with true curiosity and a desire to learn from your elder. That is absolutely God's design. <br /><br />I understand the sentiment of what the blogger is getting at. But friends, sisters in Christ, we must be on our guard when messages look like they're great advice. She's saying that this message of "seizing the day" and "making the most of every opportunity" is really hard and doesn't work for her. Okay. But shouldn't we <span style="font-style:italic;">try</span>? Just because it's hard and a fact that every mother (and father) suffers through and endures, shouldn't we give it a go since that's what the Bible tells us to do? Is it ever okay to say, "Well, that's just the way that I am, so that's the way I'm going to be"? <br /><br />"Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." <br />Philippians 2:12-13<br /><br />We're actually called to be perfect. <br /><br />"Be perfect, as I am perfect." Matthew 5:48<br /><br />James 1:1-4 lays out how we achieve perfection, or completeness.<br /><br />"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." <br /><br />God's not saying be Martha Stewart perfect. Or even those "mamas in the parenting magazines" perfect. In all honesty, I don't think anyone is. But we should be ever moving forward, becoming Christ-like. God has given us everything we need to be able to achieve perfection. <br /><br />"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." 2 Peter 1:3<br /><br />He says to "be perfect, like I am perfect." Not like the mom who has 5 kids, volunteers in all of their classes, sews all of her kids clothes, while cooking her way through Julia Childs cookbook.<br /> <br />Perfect like Christ. <br /><br />"Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus." Philippians 2:1-5 <br /><br />I'm not even saying that her sentiment is bad. It's really, really hard (really hard) to be a parent and to filter the 942 bits of advice from everybody and their mother and not feel overwhelmed. <br /><br />The problem with the blogger's post is that she has some truth mixed in with contradictions to scripture. And I believe that at the first sign of contradiction to God's Word, we should turn and run the other way. Otherwise, what a great way for Satan to get his foot in the door. <br /><br />Let's say, for instance, that Truth is a sterile operating room in a hospital. If even one person enters in the operating room that hasn't scrubbed their hands and arms and hasn't put their mask on, then the whole room is tainted and the surgeons and nurses have to start all over again. It's useless. <br /><br />Read 2 Timothy 3:1-7 about "having a form of godliness but denying it's power." Paul's got some stuff to say about the nature of women. Yipes. I didn't write it. Paul did. So take it up with him. (My husband made me put that scripture in so you can take it up with him too.)<br /><br />As a mom of two young teenagers, I've made tons of mistakes. I'm sure my kids could write a book one day of all the things that Randy and I have done wrong. But I do know that God has entrusted me with their souls and that terrifies me. Therefore, a plan that Randy and I have is that when our kids are acting outside of God's will- when they are being defiant, or painting my car with craft paint, or smearing their poop all over the wall, or asking very loudly why that woman is so fat, or running out into the street, or lying from their face to my face…it's an opportunity to teach them. It does not make me happy, but I can find the joy because I know for a fact that He is making them. And He is making me. And we will always…always…measure up advice against God's word. Even from those blessed "little old ladies". <br /><br />So I will carpe diem. Every day. And I believe that if I'm not, I really should be.Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-9833201134458507442011-09-16T08:03:00.004-05:002011-09-16T08:12:40.070-05:00Prayer and TargetThis morning I couldn't find a container for Spaghettio's that would fit in Rachel's lunch box. When I finally found something, the floor of my kitchen looked like a Rubbermaid factory exploded (but only with containers…no lids.) After dumping the can of Spaghettio's into the container and nuking it for a minute in the microwave, I promptly burned my hand on the molten lava tomato-y goodness that Rachel insisted she had to have for lunch that day. I snapped at my kids on our way out of the door to go to school. I know, it wasn't very Proverbs 31 or WWJD of me. They just banked it for some other time when they did something they didn't mean to do. <br /><br />It was not a great start to the day.<br /> <br />Later that morning, as I was cleaning out my inbox on my computer, I ran across an old email that reminded me of a painful experience from a long time ago. It's amazing how just when you think you've moved on, a reminder of a difficult time just punches you in the face and suddenly I'm weighed down with that old feeling of not being good enough. <br /><br />I busied myself with errands, trying to be productive and get some things done that I had been putting off. After taking one look at the line for vehicle registration to get my tags renewed and deciding we'd live on the edge for a few more days, I drove to the other side of town to a store where I had ordered something they didn't have in stock. They informed me that it wouldn't be in until tomorrow and wanted the name of the employee who gave me the wrong information. I insisted I heard her wrong and it was my fault. They rolled their eyes and said to come back tomorrow.<br /><br />After striking out with two of my three errands, I found myself in my favorite happy place. Target. I only needed a sprayer for the hose in my backyard, but it still makes me glad to walk into that place. I have no idea what it is…packaging, maybe? The smell of freshly popped popcorn? The dollar section? The color red? Yes, yes, yes and yes.<br /><br />So there I am, in the farthest corner of Target, still feeling kind of bummed because I haven't yet gotten a clue that the past does not define me, when I got a text message on my phone. It was from my friend, Sarah, who lives in South Carolina saying that she had prayed for me that day. For whatever reason, God had laid me on her heart and she obeyed by interceding for me. <br /><br />I thought, "Well that was nice of her." It was nice to be prayed for. <br /><br />But then something happened on the inside of me. Deep down in my guts. There in the lawn and garden section of Target- where a woman was speaking so loudly on her phone about Kaitlin's Girl Scout troop and what time she needed to be at the birthday party and that Addison loves Barbie so she would just pick one up and put it in a gift bag because that would be easier and save time- I just had a moment of clarity. <br /><br />God had set all this up. I felt unworthy. Not unworthy…worthless. And as if on cue, my friend who is so in love and in tune with her Heavenly Father, was told to pray for me all the way in Texas and did so. <br /><br />To be honest- and you're going to be shocked and I know you'd never think this- I thought, "Wouldn't it have been kind of cool if something REALLY serious was going on in my life? Like a fatal disease or a job loss or car accident?"<br /> <br />It would've made a much better story. But it was just a simple illustration of God at work in my life on an otherwise ordinary day. I was having a little bit of a low moment and God used my friend to say, "You're on my mind. Snap out of it." <br /><br />What did I glean from this extraordinary moment? <br /><br />Number one, that my self-esteem is not defined by an incident, or what a person thinks or said about me from the past. Duh. "Indeed the very hairs on your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Luke 12:7. <br /><br />I know that. But it's good to be reminded sometimes, and it's even better when it's from a friend you know you can count on for some pretty great spiritual mojo. <br /><br />And number B, how's MY spiritual mojo? Am I spending enough time with God to hear Him when He tells me to do something? Am I missing opportunities to pray for a friend just because God told me to?<br /><br />The very simple truth is, Sarah and I were both blessed, brought closer together despite our miles apart, and God…our unfailing Father…was glorified. <br /><br />It doesn't take the parting of the Red Sea to have a moment of sheer amazement at God's presence in our lives.Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-81192792279951421962011-09-13T08:02:00.002-05:002011-09-13T08:07:19.464-05:00What's Worked for Us- Fun With DisciplineWhen I think about discipline in the context of a grown-up, I think of an athlete, a writer, an actor or anyone who relies on their strongly developed skills to achieve their goals. <br /><br />Discipline in the realm of kid-dom, we usually think of punishment. When we "discipline" our children it usually means there's a privilege lost or a time out involved. But in our house, discipline encompasses so much more. Like an athlete training for a game or a meet, we train our children for life (Proverbs 22:6). <br /><br />If you've ever heard Randy and/or me talk about disciplining our children, then you can probably quote the following statement from memory because we will say it until Jesus comes: Discipline is easy for our children. It's difficult for us as parents. <br /><br />That may seem odd at first because it feels like kids have such a hard time falling in line with what you're telling them to do. But the truth is, all they have to do is what I tell them. The hard part is for me to actually follow through on what I tell them to do and what will happen if they don't. They're just looking for the chink in my armor. <br /><br />How many times have you heard a parent in public tell their child, "If you do that one more time you're going to get a time out. (Pause, child does it again) Caitlin, I'm serious. Do not do that again. You're going to get a time out (child does it again.)" And this goes on and on.<br /><br />Ephesians 6:1 says, "Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." This verse literally means for children to blindly obey their parents. Utter submission. . .as we are to obey Christ, by the way, seeing as how we're his children and all. <br /><br />A great bit of advice that I got as a young mom was that learning and discipline happens outside of a crisis or a meltdown. We'd love it if the conversation with our 3-year-old went like this:<br /><br />Child: (On the floor thrashing, wailing, throwing a fit.)<br />Mom: Sweetie, Mommy needs you to stand up and be a big girl right now and stop acting like this.<br />Child: (Jumps up, stands up straight, stops crying) What was I thinking? I do apologize, Mother. I'm so sorry for my horrid behavior. I will now go to my room and contemplate my actions and how they have adversely affected your day. <br /><br />That would actually be kinda creepy. I knew that when my child was having a meltdown, they were not thinking logically or being at all reasonable. They're brains were fixated on one thing- Me! Me! Me! Mine! <br /><br />So here's one of our tricks that worked for us. <br /><br />One of those little things that I just could not tolerate was when one of my children did not come or ran away when I called them. It was defiance all the way. So I made up a game to play that would emphasize the importance of coming when I called.<br /><br />I would sit in the middle of my living room with a little container of mini M&M's and play "Reverse Hide and Seek." <br /><br />Me: Rachel, we're going to play a game! Mommy is going to sit here while you go hide somewhere. When I call your name, you say "yes ma'am!" and come to me as fast as you can! If you get here fast, then I'll give you an M&M. But if you don't come, or I have to say your name more than once, you won't get an M&M. Got it? (<a href="http://blog.deeperside.com/2011/08/whats-worked-for-us-rules-for-livingor.html">*See the blog post about rules and expectations.</a>) Ready?<br /><br />Rachel would run off and hide, squealing with glee. She would hide and I would call her name. She would yell "yes ma'am!" and come tearing into the living room and get her prize. She would also test me on the consequences of not coming when I called. No M&M. That was for the birds, so it didn't happen very often.<br /><br />After playing a few times we'd talk about the importance of obeying Mommy and Daddy. I'd have my Bible handy and we'd quote Ephesians 6:1, the 2-3 year-old version- "Rachel, obey Mommy and Daddy. This is right!" <br /><br />This was just a fun way to reinforce good behavior. Rachel had a chance to be successful, and at that age it's all about those small victories. When Daddy got home, we'd relive the whole thing and he would get so excited. We'd even show a demonstration. Rachel wanted so desperately to please us. . .still does. <br /><br />When it came time to test this in a "real world" situation, we would praise the obedience and give consequences for the disobedience (e.g. hellfire would rain down and the wrath of Mommy was blinding). We went over the verse, "Rachel obey Mommy and Daddy. This is right! Ephesians 6:1" (Be sure to say the name and address of the verse, to reinforce that it's from the Bible and God is saying it, not just Mommy and Daddy.)<br /><br />This game came in real handy when we'd go to McDonald's to eat and play. Before we even got out of the car, we went over the rules (expectations). <br /><br />Me: When we get into McDonald's we're going to get our food. We are going to sit down and eat our food and after that you can go and play. You are going to put your shoes in a cubby before you play. When Mommy calls your name, you're going to say "yes ma'am" and come to me as soon as you can. When I say it's time to go, there will be no whining or complaining. You will say "yes ma'am" and get your shoes on quickly. Otherwise, we won't come back for a while. Got it?<br />Kids: Got it!<br /><br />And usually I would make them repeat it because inevitably somebody was watching a bird or thinking about swords during orientation. <br /><br />Warning: If all goes well in McDonald's, instead of getting to read that book you brought, you may be spending your time explaining to the other moms how you got your kids to come so quick when you called their name.<br /><br />I would also give them a countdown (again with the expectations, e.g."You have fifteen minutes!"). Don't debate the time. They'll start to push your buttons. If this happens, leave immediately. This will probably result in a meltdown, but do not lose your cool. You told them what to expect, now follow through on your promise. <br /><br />Find those opportunities to teach discipline in a really calm environment. It can happen during playtime, mealtime, story time, any time. It creates expectations and kids find such safety and peace when they know what to expect. Then when it comes time to give consequences, and we've had plenty of those, you will have already set a precedent. <br /><br />But know this- none of this works if you don't stick to what you say. If you tell them what the consequences are, do not flake out or be manipulated. My son will be an attorney when he grows up, I know it. He's the king of how-can-I-get-out-of-this. You must be firm and resolved. It's so tough and will break your heart, but you are saving their little lives. <br /><br />My kids still say "yes ma'am" when I call their name and it still fills my heart with pride and joy. <br /><br />And I will sometimes still give them a mini M&M. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">You share:</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">What creative ways or games have you found to practice good behavior outside of a meltdown?</span>Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-30170440210017359592011-09-06T10:11:00.006-05:002011-09-06T10:18:54.935-05:00Winning the War of Spiritual Leadership<span style="font-style:italic;">Written by Randy</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">A Tactical Strategy</span><br />Have you ever noticed that we focus on tactics and not strategy?<br />No? Well, let me explain…<br /><br />I spend a lot of time wargaming lately. It could be the fact that I’m a dyed-in-the-wool gamer-geek who has more board games in his closet than he will play this year. It could also have something to do with the fact that I have the pleasure of working with a retired Army Colonel, who is patiently mentoring me into manhood. Either way, I find myself inundated in thoughts of military leadership.<br /><br />One of the lessons that keeps coming to mind is the difference between tactics and strategy.<br /><br />Strategy is what those “guys on top” do. It’s the big planning. The major movements. “We need to capture that hill!” “We need to buy a car with better gas mileage.” Those are strategies.<br /><br />Tactics are those specific things you do to accomplish the strategy. “Circle behind the enemy.” “Get to that rock!” “Read Consumer Reports yearly automotive review!”<br /><br />However, it takes both strategy AND tactics to win a battle. <br /><br />You can want that hill all day long, but if you don’t move to get it, it remains in enemy territory. Or, you can be the soldieriest soldier who ever soldiered a charge, but if you run right into the enemies guns, you won’t accomplish what you desire. <br /><br />As Christians, we get mired in tactics.<br /><br />We like “to do” items. We like grocery lists. We like the feeling of accomplishment and direction. We are an action-hero society, and our hero needs action!<br /><br />We pile chore upon chore, and commitment upon commitment. We busy ourselves to our utmost limit, because if we’re busy, we’re doing good, right? We don’t want to be lazy. We don’t want to be less of a husband/wife/parent/son/daughter than that guy over there, right?<br /><br />So, we busy ourselves with tactics. We add chores to our life. We schedule our calendars to the hour, filling in every ugly open spot. We add rules to our Sabbath.<br /><br />We forget an important lesson that Jesus taught.<br /><br />See, there was this really tactical guy…he did it all right. He trained. He planned. He performed. He was on time. He was head of his class. He was first in his platoon. And he asked Jesus “Hey, sergeant, I’ve mastered all the drills, moves, and maneuvers! Which one of those tactics is going to win the most battles?”<br /><br />And Jesus answered:<br />“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 22:37-38). <br /><br />It wasn’t the reply the young man was looking for.<br /><br />Jesus gave him a strategic answer, not a tactical one. Jesus could have said, “Wash our feet.” Or “Feed my sheep,” or “Shelter the homeless”, “listen to your wife when she talks,” or “discipline your children when they mess up.” All of those are the tactics of love. But instead, Jesus cut to the chase. He talked strategy. <br /><br />That’s a good plan. When we understand the strategy—I mean REALLY understand it--we can make better choices about our tactics. When we know the goal, then we can improvise as necessary in the steps to reach that goal. When we know God wants us to “love your neighbor as yourself” then we can make a decision to spend as much quality time with our spouse as we do Oprah or Madden.<br /><br />Tactics appeal to us because they are short, discreet, and easy to understand (if not perform).<br /><br />But we get lost in tactics when we forget the strategy.<br /><br />We don’t see the forest because of the bees. (Bees are sting-ey…they DEMAND your attention!)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />The Flexical Strategery of Spirtual Leadery</span><br />If you Google the phrase “Spiritual Leadership Husband”, it only takes you a couple of hits to see some link where a wife is asking about ways to prod her husband into becoming the spiritual leader of her household. Now, I’m not saying this is wrong! All husbands should get a good prodding now and then by a well-intentioned partner. And husbands have a Biblical mandate to “headship” (Ephesians 5:23, but please, oh please read ALL of that context!)<br /><br />But look closely how those desperate housewives define “spiritual leadership”. “He should schedule our family devotions every day!” or “He should do more things at church” or “I really wish he would plan the systematic theological training of our family across a fifteen year period.”. <br /><br />Again, don’t misread me. All of those endeavors are good and right and excellent things. They are fine tactics in their time and place. I’m also “marriage enriched” enough to recognize that when a wife asks for specific things like that, there’s often something deeper that’s missing.<br /><br />You’re missing strategy.<br /><br />Headship, spiritually, cannot overlook the importance of strategy. “Love the Lod your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind…” As a spiritual leader in your home, do your children think of you and say “ahh…my mom loves Jesus” or “wow…my dad is Godly in all that he does”? Or, do your children say: “oh no…here comes drill instructor again!”<br /><br />Modeling how to memorize a Bible verse is important. So is holding your children accountable to daily time in God’s word.<br /><br />But being a strategic spiritual leader means you are always focused on the primary goal of “Love God.” So, every nuance, every interaction—all the things that make up your life—those around you know where your heart is.<br /><br />It’s how you speak to your spouse when money is tight.<br /><br />It’s how you make decisions about what to do with a Sunday afternoon.<br /><br />It’s thirty minutes spent on a science fair project, and an hour at practice with the team, and being the first to sign up for the service project, and what you say about your in-laws after you hang up the phone.<br /><br />My friend, the Colonel, defines leadership as the “art of influence”, and you know what? He’s spot on.<br /><br />Spiritual leadership of a family is a constant influence. It’s much harder than a task list, by the way. It’s living in constant love, fear, and obedience of the one true Almighty God who could unmake and forget all about you in a sneeze, if ever were he to desire it. (Note: He’s not going to desire that. )<br /><br />So, as you plan for your next battle in this spiritual war we wage daily against a world that wants to wear us out and keep us ineffective, keep this in mind: <br /><br />Tactics without Strategy will often leave you dead halfway up the hill you’re charging.<br /><br />Strategy without Tactics will result in well-meaning-ness that never will quite inspire your family to grow.<br /><br />Be both. Be godly.<br /><br />And lead it like you mean it.Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-43668968444695721182011-08-25T08:29:00.002-05:002011-08-25T08:31:46.792-05:00The Ritual<span style="font-style:italic;">Originally posted in October of 2009, but still very true. </span>
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<br />There is a ritual that happens every school morning in our house. There is also routine, but the meaning of the ritual is more significant to me. The routine is the pre-show to the ritual.
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<br />Graham gets up first and drags himself into the living room where I let him sit at the coffee table to eat his cereal while he watches cartoons. We have a few moments of snuggling and lamenting about how we wish we could go back to bed. That is followed by me kicking him out of the chair, convincing him that he’s not sick and no I won’t homeschool him. Then finally I wake Rachel up. Her eyes are bleary and she walks into the living room like a zombie with hair every which way. I repeat the routine with her with a bowl of cereal and cartoons. In the meantime, Graham is dressed and ready to go out the door. After Rachel finishes her breakfast, she finally emerges from her room a completely different person than the one she entered as, looking as if she’s stepped right out of a Neutrogena ad.
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<br />Graham sometimes rides his skateboard, but half of the time I drive him. I come home from dropping him off only to load Rachel up and begin the trek to the middle school. Sometimes the routine is interrupted by turning around because of a forgotten lunch box, signed form, or homework assignment. But finally each child is where they’re supposed to be and on time.
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<br />This is when the ritual begins.
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<br />When I walk back in the door, my house is lit up like a Christmas tree. I’m sure you can see it from space. I begin with the hall light next to the kitchen, then the laundry room light, then the kitchen. I fold up cereal boxes and rinse out bowls that should have already been rinsed out. I tie up loaves of bread and 409 the milk that was sloshed on the floor, otherwise it’ll be sticky. I make my way to the kids’ rooms and turn off each of their lights- lamps and overhead lights- and their bathroom light. Then finally the hall light.
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<br />The house is quiet and empty, but each room tells a story of what happened that morning. In Rachel’s room, there are books stacked everywhere and clean clothes strewn across the floor because she couldn’t decide what to wear. There are papers with cartoons drawn on them carefully scattered next to her bed. There’s a pencil lying on top of the paper where she dropped it from falling asleep the night before.
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<br />In Graham’s room, it’s not much different. Of course there’s laundry everywhere because it takes way too much effort to pick it up and walk the 2 feet to their laundry basket. In one corner there’s soccer gear. In the other corner is skateboard gear. And all over the bed are chord charts for his guitar. There is a phenomenon, however, in Graham’s room. Do you remember in the movie Signs that Abigail Breslyn always left glasses of water everywhere? Graham does that. I don’t know why he can’t finish one before he gets another. Sometimes it’s cups of milk, but he naturally learned his lesson after finding out the science behind it being unrefrigerated.
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<br />I will rant and rave about the virtues of keeping things straight…a place for everything and everything in it’s place. There will be no skateboarding or computer until your room is straight. Why is this basket right here? It’s for your backpack to go in, not beside. Don’t you know that corn flakes will dry up and stick to the side of this bowl and it will take a blow torch to get it off?
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<br />I sometimes feel like the Army- I do more before 7am than most people do all day. My house and I just roll our eyes and shake our heads and snicker at the mass chaos each morning.
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<br />But I will take a deep breath, realize the President isn’t going to visit today, and be thankful to the Lord that the house is full of people that I like.
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<br />That’s part of the ritual too. Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-5111785503919066712011-08-13T09:20:00.007-05:002011-08-13T11:36:31.564-05:00What Works For Us- It Keeps Getting Better<span style="font-style:italic;">In honor of our anniversary today, I asked Randy 10 questions about what makes our marriage tick.
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<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">What's the best thing about being married (in general, not just to me)?
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<br />Knowing that I always have a friend to share life with. Someone whom I can take care of, and who will take care of me when things are tough. Knowing that there's always someone to listen to my trivial stories, to acknowledge my bad jokes, to surprise with news of new movies and shows, and in general just to share life with--that's awesome.
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<br /><span style="font-style:italic;">What's the worst?</span></span>
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<br />As close as we are, knowing how often I disappoint you and let you down. You see me at all my worst times, and after 17 years, you know most of my mistakes even before I make them.
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<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">What's the biggest challenge?</span></span>
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<br />Answering 17th Anniversary Surveys.
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<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">What do you think makes our marriage work so well?</span></span>
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<br />God. Seriously, I believe the fact that we both respect and seek God, and our commitment to Him...that keeps drawing our commitment to one another closer together.
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<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">When you leave your clothes on the floor in the bedroom...actually that's not a question. It's more of an observation. Care to comment?</span>
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<br />It's Feng Shui. It balances out the shopping bags and empty Diet Coke cans.
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<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Touché. We've been married for 17 years. Any regrets?</span></span>
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<br />I regret that it's gone by so fast.
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<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Name one all-time favorite memory of being married to me.</span></span>
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<br />That's like saying name your favorite meal. I might be able to narrow down to a favorite food or restauraunt, but the great experiences are too numerous to say just one. The memory that always goes to the front of my mind is just our evenings together, talking and watching TV, or just talking. Hearing you laugh when I pretend the dog is talking.
<br />Oh. Maybe the cookie dance.
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<br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Ah, the cookie dance. If you could give one piece of advice to a couple of newlyweds, what would it be?</span></span>
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<br />Find something you love together and do it at least once a week. Other than sex, I mean. Go to a movie. Paint a picture. Do a puzzle. Play a game. Watch a show. Spend your life planting opportunities to interact. As you grow closer together, deepen them.
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<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Why do you think men are so romantically challenged when they know it would go a really long way with their wives? (No, this is not a set-up.) </span></span>
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<br />If I could answer that, I wouldn't be romantically challenged. :) We all see the world through our own eyes, and map our wants, likes, and dislikes to other people. We each assume that our mate works just like we do. A lot of marriage is spent correcting that notion.
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<br />With the above in mind, define "romantic". For women, I think it's typically things that require planning and forethought--you want to know that your guy is connecting with you emotionally, and that you are on his mind. It might be as simple as agreeing with something you say, or something as elaborate as leaving a trail of roses through the house.
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<br />For guys, "romance" is when you are engaged with him in an activity he loves--and no, I don't just mean physically. I remember those times in our marriage when we've read the same book at the same time, or played a game together. Those moments of selflessness on Carrie's part--sharing experiences, but outside her first preference, that's incredible.
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<br />So, when it comes down to it, I think both men and women are romantically challenged. Just like every human on the planet is service-challenged. We are all fairly selfish. Romance--and love--come in to play when we give up some of our time or thought or plans to make someone else feel special.
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<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Wow, you really thought that one through. What are you most looking forward to in the next 17 years of marriage? </span>
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<br />Comfort. Not as in luxury, but as in relationship. I think we're just starting to get a lot of life figured out. There is a security in knowing someone so well. There's also a challenge; that we can find a way to keep surprising each other. I'm looking forward to that too.
<br />Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-52935191902252761272011-08-08T21:14:00.007-05:002011-08-09T09:46:40.316-05:00What's Worked for Us- Rules for Living...or at least getting you through WalMartWhen our kids were babies, Randy and I were taught that kids crave discipline. They thrive on order and that if there are no expectations their world can seem insecure.
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<br />I was determined that both of my kids were going to behave when we went out in public, and quickly learned that it was a lot harder work for me than it was for them. Inconvenient even. But this was my goal and I would not be defeated.
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<br />So a simple, but effective, method I used was telling them what the rules were. I know, I know. You're stunned. But I surprised myself at how often I expected perfect behavior when I didn't communicate to them what perfect behavior looked like. See if this scenario sounds familiar.
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<br />You're in Wal-Mart, one kid in the shopping cart and one kid hanging on to the side. From the moment you hit the door they begin with the only thing in their repertoire, the "Can I have that?" song. It's a song that is sung the entire time you're there and no matter how many times you say "no," they're holding out for that brief moment of insanity when you say "yes."
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<br />When stopping to find the ripest bunch of bananas, you turn around only to see precious toddler talking with produce man and the produce man is picking up the apples that precious toddler just knocked all over the floor. Sweet toddler in the buggy begins to wail because precious toddler is now taking bite after bite of the apple and now sweet toddler has to have one.
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<br />After another 30 minutes of trying to appease the crying toddler, avoiding a near fatal cart turn-over because of a cookie grab from toddler in buggy, putting back the second row of bread that was obliterated in one foul swoop, and apologizing (again) to the store employee for the broken jar of jelly on the floor because of an over-helpful precious toddler, you swear as God as your witness, that you will only ever do your grocery shopping at midnight. When it's quiet. And all toddlers will be in bed asleep at home with their father. You avoid eye contact with any elderly ladies because you know that look on their face is begging to say "Back in my day..."
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<br />We've all been there and these are those moments that make us all laugh when we talk about them, but rarely do we find the humor when we're in the midst of it. So here are a few things that really helped me. Disclaimer: These are not instant fixes. They take work and discipline and time.
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<br />1. Simply explain the rules when you pull into the parking lot. I would put the car in park, turn the radio off, make them look me in the eyes and repeat everything I said.
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<br />2. Keep the rules simple. Some examples are-
<br /> • Do not ask for anything. This was always our number one rule because it was the most annoying to me and the most abused by them.
<br />• Always stay with Mommy. Sometimes they think that staying with Mommy just means that you can "see" Mommy. They always need to be right at your side. Don't expect them to do this unless you're specific about what "stay with Mommy" means. Rachel had it in her mind that just because she could see me, I could see her.
<br />• Do not talk to strangers.
<br />• Do not touch unless Mommy gives you permission. If I had a dime for everything that wound up in my cart at checkout that I had no idea how it got in there...
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<br />Tailor your rules to your kids. These were just a few that my kids needed.
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<br />3. As I mentioned before, be specific! You can't just say "obey me" and expect them to obey. Give them specific rules. And then be specific about the rules. If one of your rules is "Don't touch," be specific about what not to touch. Give examples and past situations (e.g. "Remember when you stuck your hands in the grapes and squished them in your fingers?")
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<br />4. Consequences! This was my son's first word. I'm not kidding. And it is a whole other blog post, but I can't talk about rules and expectations without talking a little about consequences. They are what make a kid's world go round. Just as it's crucial to good behavior to clearly communicate the rules, it's as equally important to explain the consequences of behavior- good or bad. "If you break any of these rules, then you will (fill in the blank)."
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<br />5. When you pull into the parking lot, make them tell you what the rules are first.
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<br />Mom: Hey, what are the rules we need to remember?
<br />Kid: No asking for stuff.
<br />Mom: Yes! Great job! What else?
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<br />And so on. Something fun I used to do is have them throw one or two rules in there that they make up. For instance, "No talking to the bananas" or "Touch your nose on aisle 7." They loved it and every now and then they found a really helpful rule that I didn't think of before.
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<br />6. Usually I'm not big on rewards for every good behavior because behaving well is expected. But if they don't expect the reward, then I will reward away! This is still a huge pleasure for Randy and me to do for our kids. I tried not to make it candy, but maybe a bottle of bubbles or some sugarless gum.
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<br />7. Go over the rules every time. Again and again and again. And again. I believe you'll be pleasantly surprised at how much better behaved kids are when they know what to expect going in to a situation. Maybe not right at first, but if you follow through with the consequences of breaking the rules no matter how minor the offense was, you'll have a well-behaved child and relative peace during your shopping (or wherever public place you are).
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<br />God wants us to obey Him, but doesn't expect us to do things we don't know how to do.
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<br />"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." 2 Peter 1:3
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<br />It is up to us as parents to shepherd our children towards a Godly life. This means teaching them self-control and to always "in humility, consider others better than ourselves." Philippians 2:3
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<br />If my kids are ever having problems behaving, even still, we know we have one of two problems. 1. They don't know or understand the rules, or 2. We haven't been enforcing the consequences.
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<br />The payoff for teaching this to my children, the highest compliment, was when I had both of my toddlers in the store, listening along with everyone else to another toddler on the other side of the store having a major meltdown, and an elderly lady put her hand on my arm, looked me in the eyes and said, "Thank you."
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<br />And because I had done all this work partly for her I said, "You're welcome."
<br />Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-63992333789680022172011-07-25T22:06:00.008-05:002011-07-25T22:27:10.266-05:00What's Worked for Us- The Art of the AppealA rule that we've always had at our house is no whining. We actually set up this rule even before we had kids. There's no whining. If you come over to our house and whine, well...we wouldn't make you leave, but you'd receive a stern warning. <br /><br />When we actually had kids, we knew we were probably in for some serious anti-whining training. So we enrolled ourselves in a Bible-based parenting program and learned how to train kids not to whine. <br /><br />An extremely valuable, and oftentimes very entertaining, method of anti-whining training is the "appeals process". <br /><br />We believe that the Bible has specific instructions for us on how to ask God for something that we want. There are many verses that talk about what our hearts should desire and how much God wants to bless us. <br /><br />"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." <br />Ps. 37:4<br /><br />"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything through prayer and petition with thanksgiving make your requests known to God." Phil. 4:6<br /><br />These are just a couple. So training our children how to ask for something, instead of whining that they don't have it, not only inspired peace in our home but is teaching them a valuable lesson about their relationship with their Heavenly Father.<br /><br />1. Toddler stage- We taught them how to say, "May I appeal, please?" <br />At this stage, we set up the basics of the appeal process. They didn't get the whole concept, they simply learned how to say the phrase and we demonstrated the consequences of invoking the privilege of asking. It usually went like this:<br /><br />Rachel: Mommy, may I have a cookie.<br />Mom: No, you may not.<br />Rachel: Mommy, may I 'peal please? <br />Mom: Yes! You may! (Showing her how excited I was that she "got it")<br />Rachel: Mommy, may I have a cookie?<br /><br />Like I said, they don't get the concept. They're simply learning how to say it and getting into the habit of appealing. If they did appeal, usually, if it wasn't impossible, I would give them what they wanted as a reward for not whining and followed up with a "I like it so much when you ask like that!" <br /><br />2. Early elementary stage- At this stage, they understand reason more. So after they've asked if they can appeal, only to ask the question the same way again, we began to teach them more of the mechanics of the appeal. It went like this:<br /><br />Graham: Mommy, can I go out and play with Braden?<br />Mom: No, you may not.<br />Graham: May I appeal, please?<br />Mom: Yes, you may.<br />Graham: Can I go out and play with Braden?<br />Mom: Give me three reasons why I should let you go out and play with Braden.<br />Graham: I've finished all my work, he's asked me to come play basketball, and I really think you're pretty.<br />Mom: Have fun and be back in an hour.<br /><br />The object of the appeal is not to beg for what you want, but to seriously plead your case. At this stage, it's more thought out. <br /><br />3. Later elementary stage (4th-6th grade): Now, this stage came as a surprise to us. A very pleasant surprise. Teaching your kids the appeals process is really hard work and takes some discipline on both parties. For us, this is what teaching our children the appeals process looked like at the later elementary stage:<br /><br />Graham: Mom and Dad, I would like to invite you to the office for a short presentation.<br /><br />What followed was nothing short of a business proposal including a well rehearsed speech and an impressive PowerPoint with graphics and charts and eight reasons why Graham should be allowed to have a certain video game. <br /><br />We were floored. I still have the PowerPoint in fact. I can't remember if we allowed him to have the video game but I do know there was definitely something given that was equally as exciting to him. He'd put a LOT of work into what he made and had really thought out his proposal. <br /><br />4. Early teen- Now we're rolling. Rachel is now in middle school and it's time to take our skills to the real world. She is learning that grades can be about 90% hard work and about 10% appeal, give or take some percentages. <br /><br />Grades are very important to Rachel. She took an English test last year and made below an A. She was devastated and we talked it over after school and I told her she needed to talk to her teacher. <br /><br />The next day, I received an email from her English teacher saying how impressed she was with Rachel. She said that Rachel approached her and said, "Do you have a few minutes? This question here, may I appeal, please?" The teacher wrote me, "After I picked my jaw off the floor, I said 'absolutely' and Rachel made her case." The teacher was so impressed with Rachel's well-thought out appeal that the teacher couldn't argue with her and gave her an A. <br /><br />Sometimes I believe that God wants to give us stuff that we want, but is just waiting for us to ask the right way and for our hearts to be in the right place. I know that's how I am with my kids. I will say that it's a bit of an ego booster to have another adult be impressed that my kid knows about this "trick". But in the grand scheme of things, I just want them to be full of integrity and know how to communicate with others throughout their lives in such a way that their love for Christ and,in turn,their love for others is so evident.Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-82860844341152546062011-06-28T17:17:00.003-05:002011-06-28T18:28:06.412-05:00What's Worked for Us- Chore ChoicesEver since Graham was able, it's been his job to empty the trash and line the trash can with a new bag.He never complained about actually having to do it, but there was a complaint or two about how hard it is to get the bag out of the can. <br /><br />So I had an idea. The next time he went to the grocery store with me I let him pick out the trash bags. He had put a lot of thought into it and chose ones that he thought would be better and easier. Now I know not every kid is going to get excited about trash bags, but he was. Not "I-got-a-new-Xbox-game" excited, but there was a certain sense of ownership to his chore.Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-62282940721176281242011-04-25T15:08:00.003-05:002011-04-25T15:32:56.499-05:00What's Worked For UsRandy and I were talking to a friend who is also a parent. The friend complimented us on how great our kids were and said, "You have been really blessed with great kids." <br /><br />After having been told that a couple of times from other people, I had finally had it. I looked at our friend in the eyes and said, "How those two turned out is not a blessing. They are YEARS of hard work, many tears and a lot of sleepless nights. It's inconvenient and gray hairs and some missed opportunities. It is a commitment and a calling from God that we've failed on many occasions, but take very serious. So a blessing? I wish. It'd be great if they were naturally wonderful children. But,no. They're human and hopelessly flawed and prone to temper tantrums, but we are determined to make them into people who love God first and all that that means and to be productive and diligent contributors to the Gross National Product." <br /><br />After our friend closed his mouth at my tirade, he was sorry he said anything in the first place. So we began to talk a little bit about our parenting philosophy, some of which we've gotten from the book Growing Kids God's Way, but all of it from God's Word. <br /><br />We are not experts, certainly, and don't claim to be parenting gurus. We have had our fair share of disasters and have stumbled along the way. But because we've been asked many times about how we get our kids to answer "yes ma'am" and come immediately when we call, we've decided to revamp our blog and take some time to offer a few ideas of what's really worked for us.<br /><br />More to come.Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-89885089978247641662011-04-05T10:47:00.004-05:002011-04-05T11:06:50.026-05:00Bullies, Birds, and the Number of Hairs on Your HeadI was sitting in a McDonalds with a friend, chatting and catching up while our young children played in the play area. You know, the tubes that look like they’re made for giant hamsters. We call them “habitrails” for kids. <br /><br />Now when you have children, God implants a device within moms. It’s amazing and ingenious and I have yet to see it in dads. It’s that natural tuning that allows moms to hear their child’s voice even though they’re in a large room full of other screaming children. We can hone in on our child’s call. It’s all over Discovery Channel and Animal Planet and it just so happens that human mommies have it too.<br /><br />So there we were, enjoying some adult interaction when all of a sudden I hear it. It’s my then 4-year-old little boy’s cry. I got up to follow the cry and what I saw is forever emblazoned on my brain. There, in the tallest section of the habitrail, is my precious blonde-haired blue eyed baby boy, being pummeled by a slightly bigger boy. Graham is looking down at me with complete terror and confusion. <br /><br />There are moments in our lives where we feel things that in otherwise normal situations we believe that moral human beings shouldn’t feel. This was one of those moments. I felt enraged and murderous. I fully believe that in that moment I had a lapse in judgment and could not make my brain figure out how to get up the tube to where my son was. I could see the other boy punching him and biting him on the ear, but for the life of me, I couldn’t get to him. I knew, though, that if I did get to the boys I would forever regret my actions. The other boy was not a child to me. He was not someone else’s little boy that was loved and cherished as my son was. He was a threat. <br /><br />By this time, all of the other moms were abuzz and yelling at the other boy to stop. The kids finally made their way down the tube and my son safely, once again, into my arms.<br /><br />He was relatively unharmed except for some shell shock. My son barely remembers the incident, (though my daughter remembers it with perfect clarity and is still organizing a mob to take out the punk) and seems completely unaffected. <br /><br />Flash forward to 5th grade. Randy and I are in France when we get a call from my sister. My son had been clocked in the face by a kid who was apparently having a bad day. My son believed he was playfully teasing the boy, but the boy must have heard it wrong and took offense. <br /><br />Now remember the part where I’m in France? It’s about 1am for me when all this happens and I seriously felt like I could sprint across the ocean on foot to throttle this other kid. Once again, God is protecting me from myself. <br /><br />Recently, while on a trip, I overheard Graham telling Rachel that there were some boys talking in the lunchroom about the incident in the 5th grade. They decided it would be fun to punch Graham to see if he’d cry. Every mom bone in my body wanted to throw those boys in jail (and I don’t believe they’re going to need my help with that in the future). I fought back tears and tried to be calm. Randy put his hand on my arm and I quickly got my self-control. The last thing an 11-year-old boy needs is for “mommy” to grab some other boys by the ear and tell them to “leave my baby alone.”<br /><br />So I prayed. I asked God, “why?” And His response was as clear as a bell. “Step back and cool off. I am making him.” Graham does not live in fear. He’s not afraid of those boys or to go to school. He simply shrugs his shoulders and has a “whatever” attitude. <br /><br />That I can handle. I really like that about him, in fact. It makes me believe that one day Graham will be a youth pastor or a teacher or simply someone’s mentor and be able to tell them his story. He’s tucking it away as a life experience and something that was just another mark on his currently short timeline. <br /><br />It is my job to protect my children at all costs, but there are times when I believe I have to step back and let them figure things out on their own. I can’t fight all their battles.<br /><br />That’s how God is with us, isn’t it? The Almighty, All-Knowing, Creator of the Universe is our bodyguard. He’s our Daddy. But I believe he allows things to happen to us that shape us and form us into His image. And if the pain I feel while being forced to watch my child being subject to a bully, imagine…imagine the pain that our Abba Father feels while his children suffer. <br /><br />“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” Matthew 6:26<br /><br />“Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Luke 12:7Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-50827973625446153472011-04-05T10:17:00.003-05:002011-04-05T10:42:52.329-05:00A Parent's PrayerMy Mother-in-Law has A Parent's Prayer framed in her guest room where Randy and I sleep when we're there. It is the best prayer I've ever read that expresses the kind of parent I want to be.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Oh, God, make me a better parent.<br />Help me to understand my children,<br />to listen patiently to what they have to say<br />and to answer all their questions kindly.<br />Keep me from interrupting them,<br />talking back to them and contradicting them.<br />Make me as courteous to them<br />as I would have them be to me.<br /><br />Give me the courage to confess my sins<br />against my children and to ask of them forgiveness,<br />when I know that I have done them wrong.<br /><br />May I not vainly hurt the feelings of my children.<br />Forbid that I should laugh at their mistakes or<br />resort to shame and ridicule as punishment.<br /><br />Let me not tempt a child to lie and steal.<br />So guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate<br />by all I say and do that honestly produces happiness.<br /><br />Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me.<br />May I cease to nag:<br />and when I am out of sorts,<br />help me, O Lord, to hold my tongue.<br /><br />Blind me to the little errors of my children<br />and help me to see the good things that they do.<br />Give me a ready word for honest praise.<br /><br />Help to treat my children as those of their own age,<br />but let me not exact of them the judgments<br />and conventions of adults.<br />Allow me not to rob them of the opportunity<br />to wait upon themselves,<br />to think, to choose, and to make decisions.<br /><br />Forbid that I should ever punish them<br />for my self satisfaction.<br />May I grant them all of their wishes that are<br />reasonable<br />and have the courage always to<br />withhold a privilege that I know will do them harm.<br /> <br />Amen<br /> </span>Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-78429911815188162012010-11-02T16:39:00.004-05:002010-11-02T16:47:27.381-05:00So Long LimbAs I’m sitting here trying to work, I can hear the big city truck in front of my house loading up huge parts of our trees that we had trimmed yesterday. It needed to be done. These trees were overgrown and out of control and needed a bit of a makeover.<br /><br />But as relieved as I should be and glad for the update to our house, I am sad. I am sad and I realize something about myself that I have prided myself on being just the opposite all these years. <br /><br />I’m not good with change. <br /><br />Why just this morning Randy and I went to vote, but figured out that our city has changed from assigning us a place to vote to being able to vote wherever we wanted to. Not good. We had to drive 15 minutes from our house and (gasp) wait in line. I missed our normal place where they have doughnuts and we knew right where to go and where to sign. <br /><br />But a tree…<br /><br />I know what you’re thinking. She’s crazy. They didn’t even chop the thing down, they just trimmed it. But they trimmed the best part. <br /><br />You see, there was a limb that jutted out horizontally over our yard, across the sidewalk, and almost to the street. It was a great limb! The best limb! Kids from all over the neighborhood would end up in our yard because of that limb! In that tree, under and sometimes straddled across that limb, treaties were made. Conspiracies were planned. Grand schemes of world domination were designed. Songs were written and all the secrets of the universe were wondered on. <br /><br />Over the years, 10 to be exact, I’ve had to keep my mouth shut. As a mom, it’s my job to worry about people dropping out of trees. It was all I could do to march out in my front yard and declare, “Everybody out of the tree and off the limb. You’ll break your neck!”<br /><br />I would even have the phone in my hand and ready to dial 911. I had a Google page ready to go of how to splint a broken arm or leg. I just knew someone was going down and it would be in my yard and a lawsuit would be pending. <br /><br />But none of the sort ever happened. Just pure summer fun- rope or Nerf gun in one hand and a Popsicle in the other. <br /><br />The four of us stood in the front yard yesterday and mourned the limb. We delivered our eulogies and lamented that the tree would never be the same. I half expect there to be flowers on my front porch and a peach cobbler or two as the now teenage kids in the neighborhood pay their respects. <br /><br />The kids haven’t been in that tree for quite some time now. It’s not that the limb provided us with anything useful. It covered up our yard and caused us to get a warning from the city if we didn’t trim it back so people wouldn’t run into it on our sidewalk. <br /><br />But time moves on and the limb outlived its usefulness. I think Shel Silverstein was on to something there. <br /><br />So long limb. Maybe you’ll be some ground cover in one of our city parks or mulch in a flower bed. Wherever you go, thanks for all the fun. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXWxng6nBO6vAoR0loPouc5VMZCUA4OYZ-Ylf8LvXmPTcNCT6f7IwfHHZGxWWYtzQGCCb4Vts-eufVRoC3yBKjRbRB-v9VNzOafkZDfZYs1ZqHajVDLwfH_R2CawLlg6Q_fNQMHJ_VhJpY/s1600/Graham's+Birthday+108.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 132px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXWxng6nBO6vAoR0loPouc5VMZCUA4OYZ-Ylf8LvXmPTcNCT6f7IwfHHZGxWWYtzQGCCb4Vts-eufVRoC3yBKjRbRB-v9VNzOafkZDfZYs1ZqHajVDLwfH_R2CawLlg6Q_fNQMHJ_VhJpY/s200/Graham's+Birthday+108.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535070732700262194" /></a>Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-11189282332852958722010-09-08T16:58:00.004-05:002010-09-08T17:23:39.264-05:00My Kid Can Beat Up Your Honor Roll KidThere is an instinct in parents to brag on our kids. We are “one-uppers” when it comes to sons and daughters (i.e. “Your kid is lead scorer of his soccer team? Well my kid is being recruited by colleges already”). <br /><br />I’m sure it’s nothing new and it will probably never be old. Parents probably bragged on their kids even back in Bible times. There’s Joseph standing next to the other dads watching their sons play soccer in a field, or whatever game they played. Jesus has just scored again, but still manages to encourage the other team at the same time. One dad starts in about how his son is already catching twice as many fish as he is. Boy, won’t he make a great fisherman when he grows up. And another dad brags about how his son can plow a field like nobody’s business and he’s only 9! And then Joseph pipes up and the other dads just roll their eyes because his kid is sooo perfect. <br /><br />As parents, we always want our children to have better than we did, to be better than we were. It must be the survival instinct to better the human race.<br /><br />When my kids were little and I put Rachel in ballet for the first time, I had these very grand ideas of her becoming a prima ballerina. I envisioned trips to New York where she would audition for Julliard, or whatever famous school, and they would beg her to be in their school. I foresaw Graham, large-baby Graham, being a line-backer and first string on the high school football team and then going on to college with a scholarship. He’s still shorter than most boys his age and skinny as a whip, but I digress.<br /><br />I remember a very sobering conversation with my husband not too long ago. We often sit around and talk about how great and talented the kids are and pat ourselves on the back for doing such a wonderful job and “isn’t Rachel the most beautiful girl ever! And that Graham, boy he’s going to make a lot of money when he grows up. Do you think other people think this about our kids or are we just biased?” <br /><br />Then one day, while we were gushing about our super-talented, beautiful children, I asked Randy, “What do you think Rachel will be when she grows up?” His reply was, “She’ll more than likely be a wife and mom.”<br /><br />Nuh-uh! Hold up! Kill the motor dude!<br /><br />She’s going to MIT to study robot engineering and discover the cure for cancer! Or she’ll be a famous singer and songwriter and I’m going to sit on the front row with thousands of screaming fans and beam because that’s my daughter. Or Graham is going to be a famous soccer player or skateboarder and go on the Mountain Dew tour and I’m going to sit on the front row with thousands of screaming fans and beam because that’s my son! <br /><br />When in reality, Rachel will probably be a wife and mom and lead a Bible study at her church and teach Sunday School in the Jr. High ministry. Graham will probably fall madly in love with some girl whom I am already praying for and work on computers like his dad. They will most likely live quiet lives like their folks do and in some way work hard to contribute to the gross national product and most importantly the Kingdom of God. <br /><br />That’s really all I can ask for. I’ve not given up on the grand dreams and will be right there thinking “I knew it!” when a record producer discovers Rachel. Or when Graham takes time off from being CEO of his very successful computer gaming company to represent the US in track and field at the Olympics. But I believe success as a parent is how I’ve raised my child to be a blessing to others. I know how great they are and if God chooses to share their greatness with the rest of the world, that’s cool. But I often have to back myself up during these bragging sessions with other parents, and stop worrying so much that my children aren’t “advanced” enough or a prodigy in something.<br /><br />I realize that if they turn out like their folks, living quiet lives, that’s really great. After all, their mom is not just a mom. She’s also an actress and a writer…that gets paid for acting and writing even. Their dad is a video game producer for crying out loud. <br /><br />So if I’m on my death bed and surrounded by my children, and their children, and their children’s children, much like my grandmother was not too long ago, I will count my life successful. And theirs too.<br /><br />Did I mention Rachel’s written two books already and starting on a third? Just saying.Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-52888613172256241122010-08-13T21:08:00.002-05:002010-08-13T21:13:36.152-05:00Sixteen Years and Counting<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxB5cOJdWsHg_f1dwjFFJtHyjOF3ONpfCmb93fRFvj5ovFY0Ts_q06UYMVJB6gm7R09iIZLCiWZbpJZFfK-Zw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-68069570076854141612010-06-24T21:44:00.006-05:002010-06-24T22:04:06.295-05:00Pictures<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD0w0CNTPo5ZfcLs-fWgY-KwlGDmnZHchJGk0CoMJWdHeVqprDyseRniHqUdYwMg1ejmIZe1TC05AhZddfhgico0P6Ub6sYwJyfBLWCj0w5c1wfqfSjsxjdJk_Tx-f9kC6Aj1_91ATJM7K/s1600/Summer10+020.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD0w0CNTPo5ZfcLs-fWgY-KwlGDmnZHchJGk0CoMJWdHeVqprDyseRniHqUdYwMg1ejmIZe1TC05AhZddfhgico0P6Ub6sYwJyfBLWCj0w5c1wfqfSjsxjdJk_Tx-f9kC6Aj1_91ATJM7K/s200/Summer10+020.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486539778019945778" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihZFvzS1Kpb_aavevfBTRnbMVGghCHI_dAhMXKgPwlYi0xwaoAVXBGVI_xi8AAkNVD2GaGnY4HX1nWFtsrQ5BBUMvzlm-Yw67HJ9cEuncmAMqekxcN-t26auCey6IS33hyvHtag90WDmRH/s1600/Summer10+016.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihZFvzS1Kpb_aavevfBTRnbMVGghCHI_dAhMXKgPwlYi0xwaoAVXBGVI_xi8AAkNVD2GaGnY4HX1nWFtsrQ5BBUMvzlm-Yw67HJ9cEuncmAMqekxcN-t26auCey6IS33hyvHtag90WDmRH/s200/Summer10+016.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486538505170587922" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRNNvn3eS1OZnDh_6wheMTLyDnHUrzsZKFlskdipDWdI4XUJXHGRZ9UWF2jyrxMqCJC1T2OTG5KYIdSQt85LzzdVrCRHgn2PnyEljrF1U5DZrH4MFgPQ9z2CiY4B4KDPsPkC3ThMARHB5z/s1600/Summer10+012.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRNNvn3eS1OZnDh_6wheMTLyDnHUrzsZKFlskdipDWdI4XUJXHGRZ9UWF2jyrxMqCJC1T2OTG5KYIdSQt85LzzdVrCRHgn2PnyEljrF1U5DZrH4MFgPQ9z2CiY4B4KDPsPkC3ThMARHB5z/s200/Summer10+012.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486538023558640562" /></a>Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-26390635160379825202010-06-15T13:39:00.006-05:002010-06-15T14:19:01.269-05:00The Last Airbender<span style="font-weight:bold;">We are a movie-going family. It's one of our all-time favorite things to do. So when summer movie season comes around we get out our Entertainment Weekly and consult our favorite review websites like Rotten Tomatoes and Common Sense Media. We watch trailers and check out the actors on Internet Movie Database. It is not unlike making our predictions and filling out spreadsheets for the NFL draft. <br /><br />This year we are particularly excited about The Last Airbender. It was supposed to be called Avatar: The Last Airbender, but I think we all know where that title wound up. <br /><br />The Last Airbender (Avatar) is a cartoon from Nickelodeon that the kids and I got into a few years ago while we were eating breakfast and getting ready for school. We made sure we got up a few minutes early so we'd have time to watch the full episode. <br /><br />It is a story about young boy and his companions who live in an Asian inspired world where there are four different tribes- air, water, earth, and fire. Each tribe has members who have the ability to summon that element. Firebenders can shoot fire, waterbenders can manipulate water, etc. Aang, our hero, is the last of his airbending tribe, but is also a chosen one- a reincarnation of a special being that has the power to use all four elements. The Avatar. <br /><br />I am particularly excited that M. Night Shyamalan is directing, though it is admittedly on his part, a "Buddhist movie". We have never felt like Buddhism has been shoved down our throats from the animated series and I'm hoping that M. Night won't either. I've enjoyed most of the movies that he's written and directed and I really love his style. This movie was not filmed in 3D, but has been converted to 3D and we are sort of purists when it comes to that. If I'm going to pay $4 extra for a 3D movie, I want to know that my money is paying for those cameras and the extra effort. <br /><br />The Last Airbender will have some amazing martial arts and some really fun characters. From what we've seen of the previews they've followed right along with the animated series and that makes us really hopeful for one of our favorite series. The Last Airbender opens July 2nd.</span><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />For more information on this and other kid-appropriate movies check out http://www.commonsensemedia.org/summer-movies.</span>Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-22168634524620127512010-05-18T10:30:00.003-05:002010-05-18T11:43:30.328-05:00Zippers and Egos<span style="font-weight:bold;">It's a rite of passage that all children must go through, the "embarrassing parent" moments. You know, the comments meant to expose you and embarrass you in front of God and everyone, such as “I’ll miss you!” or “Mommy loves you!” and the ever popular “Make good choices!” I lived through it and now laugh about it and sometimes it winds up in a skit…or a blog post. <br /><br />But as my sweet, southern mother would say after I whined about my Dad sending my boyfriend a tape of me singing, "God is building character in your life". And I fell for it. <br /><br />Well, now it's my turn. The torch has been passed. The student becomes the master. But in order to fly the flag of Embarrassing Parent one must acquire a child who will succumb to the humiliation of being in such a family. A child who will cower in fear and submit to a higher power that has the ability to take you out of this world and make another one just like you.<br /><br />We have two children in which to inflict such pain and humiliation upon. But only one can be swayed by threats of hugging in front of his friends or blowing kisses while he's on the soccer field. <br /><br />No...the other, the older, the wiser, the unaffected...will not be moved. In fact, she welcomes it. "Bring it on!" is her motto. "Do your worst!" She is unafraid. She will gladly wave and blow kisses to "mommy" and respond with "you're the coolest" to my "make good choices" battle cry when dropping her off at school. She proudly exits the car at school when my hair is unkempt and I’m still in the t-shirt I wore to bed. Don’t dare her to do stuff. She will wind up in jail. She is a rock. Non-embarrassable. Non-self-conscious. <br /><br />Until today. <br /><br />After dropping off my beautiful, talented, well-liked daughter at school I noticed something a little off about the jeans she was wearing. Now, Rachel has had a problem with this since...well...birth. For Graham, it's keeping his shoes tied. For Rachel, it's been this particular oversight that she's never been mindful of or cared about until someone pointed it out, and with a shrug of her shoulders and an "oh thanks" she would fix the problem and carry on with her life. No big deal.<br /><br />I have searched far and wide for the chink in Rachel's armor. Her Achilles heel. And today I found it. And now that she's in middle school and all of 12-years-old this particular thing holds new meaning, unbeknownst to me. So with love in my heart and nothing but the best of intentions, as Rachel waved goodbye and we exchanged "I love you's", I rolled the window down and declared:<br />"Honey, zip your pants!"<br /><br />The next few seconds happened in slow motion. The freezing in mid-stride. The slowly turning around in utter mortification. The eyes as wide as saucers. I had done it. I had finally embarrassed my daughter<br /><br />She took it all in stride and with good humor. I honestly didn’t mean to embarrass her. It was just a bonus to my Monday. She checked her zipper to make sure that they were, in fact, zipped and gave me a “Mooommm!!” <br /><br />As parents, we don’t mean our children harm. But somewhere in the parent manual it says that you’re supposed to remind your children of their place in the world. It’s the same reason I read her emails and text messages. I want to know who she’s talking to and about what. She understands that she’s not entitled. There are things we must endure in life, and well-intentioned but oftentimes ego-busting parents are one of them. <br /><br />I know that for myself, God laughs and says to the saints and angels around him “Hey, you wanna see something funny?” and then proceeds to put me in my place. Whether it be tripping while walking down the sidewalk, waving at a stranger I thought I knew, or asking that lady in Wal-Mart when she’s due…you get the rest of that story. It’s the natural order of things. It happens to all of us and will continue to happen for the rest of our lives. It’s just that the older you get, the less you care.<br /><br />But I have to laugh, because it reminds me that I am not perfect. There will always be things out of my control. I am human and God is God. And that is such a good thing.</span>Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-24787685192104997692010-04-22T09:02:00.005-05:002010-04-22T09:51:34.028-05:00In Which I Am HumbledAs a parent, I often wonder if I'm doing it right. You know, when there's an issue with your child's morality or ethics or reasoning? And usually it's not one of those cut and dry cases, such as "don't fight", "don't steal", or "don't create policy that alienates half the country"...you know...the obvious stuff. <br /><br />We happen to have a debater in our house. And it wouldn't be such a bad thing if he wasn't so good at it. We punish, he comes back with a well thought out speech that, more times than not, we find ourselves saying "you make a good point". But we stick to punishments and stay on guard for the smooth-talk and honey-ed words that only our 11-yr-old can conjure up. He's good. He's very good.<br /><br />So we have to stay sharp. We have to stay in the Word. A good friend once told me when my kids were just babies that "you are the governor of their souls". Yipes. Parenting is like walking down a dark path while holding up a lantern to show them the way. I really hope we're going the right way. Good thing we've got Google Maps on our smartphone. (Google Maps= Scripture...you get the analogy...)<br /><br />So the other day I walked into my child's room who's mission in life is to be a hostage negotiator. (He doesn't' know it yet, but that's what he's going to be.) There, written on his whiteboard next to his desk, was this:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZZltBEs-ABGVQFQ5aNr7hhizqXkpU1dSX2WX0PUBBPgDqj7N3OcEE6m47J4VN8LLQ7VhFcTsKuEd6ofRT-lfM0xbvmeG-hQiXxzlYD81av38vIVFCXoPaNjy5tUvN0-Pos_kfU6oRIbWQ/s1600/Graham'sBoard+002.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZZltBEs-ABGVQFQ5aNr7hhizqXkpU1dSX2WX0PUBBPgDqj7N3OcEE6m47J4VN8LLQ7VhFcTsKuEd6ofRT-lfM0xbvmeG-hQiXxzlYD81av38vIVFCXoPaNjy5tUvN0-Pos_kfU6oRIbWQ/s200/Graham'sBoard+002.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462971498612656450" /></a><br />"Have I spent time with the Lord today? Have I been a servant today?"<br /><br />I was humbled. I wondered why he keeps asking if he could get us anything. I just thought it was because he wanted more computer time. He was just trying to be a servant.<br /><br />Parenting is hard work. You have to stay on top of things 24/7. But I know that despite my best efforts they're going to stumble. They're going to make bad decisions. <br /><br />But God takes these little moments in my life to say, "I got this. You're doin' okay, but I've got my hand on him so chill out."Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-54628425841750246712010-02-13T00:32:00.002-06:002010-02-13T00:38:45.408-06:00Skitzy Chicks Video Blog #21<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwcYr6IryRkMW2zh5Wnh8Nqk3cPg6W3ehADopg9-nUQCOKz2dNZHtARzgJBjwz5tSYG4CkZYwSEYgCn-wWiMg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />To check out the rest of our Skitzy Chicks video blogs, visit our FB page at www.facebook.com/skitzychicks or on Tangle at www.tangle.com/skitzychicks.Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-20882003859384173642010-02-09T13:04:00.003-06:002010-02-09T15:36:28.822-06:00If I Knew Then...If I knew then what I know now...<br /><br />...I'd have looked more into that 15 year mortgage instead of the 30 year.<br /><br />...I would never have wished for my kids to be out of diapers...or car seats...or whatever was the next stage of their life.<br /><br />...I would never have spent so much time worrying about what other people thought. <br /><br />...I would never have gotten a credit card...or the one after that...or the one after that. <br /><br />...I wouldn't have dated...certain guys.<br /><br />...I would have spoken out more.<br /><br />...I would have stood up for myself more. <br /><br />...I would have figured out what I believe a lot sooner. <br /><br />...I would have auditioned for more musicals. <br /><br />...I wouldn't have said that, or made that stupid remark, or yelled. <br /><br />...I would have worked it out then and there instead of letting it simmer. <br /><br />...I would have had better eating habits.<br /><br />...I would have used sunscreen when I was a kid instead of slathering on baby oil and laying out in the sun for hours on end. <br /><br />...I definitely wouldn't have had pouffey bangs and had my picture taken.<br /><br />...I would have paid more attention in class. <br /><br />...I would have asked more questions. <br /><br />...I wouldn't have been in such a hurry to grow up. <br /><br />...I wouldn't have needed a "then" that made me who I am and got me to where I am now.Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-79645491345762608212010-01-14T14:17:00.003-06:002010-01-14T14:55:07.599-06:00So Long '09<OBJECT class=BLOG_video_class id=BLOG_video-2ea042ffc824c height=266 width=320 contentId="2ea042ffc824c"></OBJECT>Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-58448308020985867772009-12-15T14:34:00.002-06:002009-12-15T14:45:29.760-06:00Watch out Tomlin!<OBJECT class=BLOG_video_class id=BLOG_video-d5bb003b2d523f74 height=266 width=320 contentId="d5bb003b2d523f74"></OBJECT>Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1034680395561122384.post-88699099912819986952009-12-14T09:55:00.002-06:002009-12-14T10:19:40.267-06:00For Your Listening EnjoymentThis year at The Heights I was able to direct a dinner theatre for all of our ABF's (Adult Bible Fellowship, or Sunday School...it will always be Sunday School and Big Church for me). We performed the show "A Christmas Tale" and it was a bit of a family affair. Randy played the Narrator and Graham was known as "Dictionary Boy". It was the story of Christmas told in "troupe" style, thus the costumes. I'm posting one of my favorite songs from the show. My recording does not do the singers or the band justice, but hopefully you can get a good idea of just what a great talent we have at our church. <br /><br />From right to left is Trent Blackley our music minister who got mad skills, Wendy Harju behind him who I could work with anyday...she makes it easy, Angela Irby our fearless children's choir director and vocal wizard, Loyce Pickett on the platform behind her and one of my new favorite people, Kami Loyd kneeling on the floor our resident cutie, Georgie Jinks on the stool and costume queen (who should be running a Broadway theatre), Randy is standing next to her and delivered an amazing performance...I miss hearing you sing, Graham my baby is sitting on the platform and just wowed everyone, and then Patrick Williams prophet extraordinaire and one of the hardest workers sitting next to Graham. Thanks, guys. I had a blast. <br /><br /><OBJECT class=BLOG_video_class id=BLOG_video-ad302e157a55527 height=266 width=320 contentId="ad302e157a55527"></OBJECT>Carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10693084523817820536noreply@blogger.com2